Filipina Dating Sites - Do They Create a Healthy Filipina Image?
Posted on March 25, 2008
Filed Under Long Distance Relationships, Commentary |
My friends over in Filipina Images have been working hard for the past year to raise the image of Filipinas. By challenging the stereotypes and peeling them away one layer at a time. I applaud Filipina Images for what they are doing and I have a hunch this campaign will be successful.
It will not happen overnight but it will happen. A socially conscious blog such as Filipina Images will certainly draw it’s fair share attacks from people who wish to keep things status quo. And recently…
Filipina Images recently encouraged Bloggers who support their cause, by filtering Filipina dating sites that target or include Filipinas, from their Google Adsense campaign. In my opinion this is a natural step for anyone who is taking a stand to raise the image of Filipinas worldwide.
Judging from the comments in Noemi’s post “filtering Filipina dating sites” Ridicule and serious opposition are the order of the day for one gentleman.
Geoff says:
March 13th, 2008 at 2:14 pm There is a website listed in your “filter out” list run by the husband of a woman born and raised near Butuan City in the Philippines. I have visited the Philippines 5 times and know the culture there. You are claiming such site is against promoting the image of Philippines while at the same time asking people to blacklist this site which can help provide financial support for a Philippine based family. How does your request assist in cleaning the image of Filipina?
It appears that he’s taken serious offense to this simple show of solidarity.
I have a few questions for this gentleman in hope that one day he’ll read them and maybe, just maybe, see the BIG picture!
- How does commercialization of Filipinas promote a healthy image of Filipinas?
- Are you saying that by pasting their pictures all over the Internet will help them realize their full potential as a true Filipina?
- Does meeting a Foreigner help them realize their true essence, or potential, as a Filipina?
- Wouldn’t their full potential be realized by meeting the right man for them? A man who loves, honors and respects them regardless of the nationality?
- How does this help them realize their full potential by meeting only foreign men?
- Does meeting a foreigner on dating sites help raise their status in society? Not hardly!
- Are you saying this is the only available source of E-commerce this family could participate in?
- Finally you asked how does the request from Filipina Images assist in cleaning the image of the Filipina? I simply ask you how does your commercialization of Filipinas help their image?
The Comment following his, Comment # 7, is the stereotypical image of Filipinas now. No thanks to dating sites like the ones Noemi requested to be blocked.
Marissa Dagohoy says:
March 13th, 2008 at 2:58 pm there is no such thing as this campaign would shape the filipina images. WE ARE ALREADY KNOWN TO BE THE “GOLD DIGGER” of this era. Publishing such information on block listing some websites that are not even pornographic is such a big scam which you are trying to tell the whole internet industry that your site is the best one to go for. Well, then thanks for that, but you should still justify your cause and effect to this campaign. There is no way you can stop our fellow filipinas to go online and search for their financial fortune or even a soulmate. I am not objecting to this campaign but telling the whole world and publish the sites that you thought would be bad for our fellow filipinas is not really a good idea. You should only filter out those pornographic sites and not those site that are helping most of our fellow filipinas to look for their greener pasture by getting online. Stupidity does not really based on an online thing if some filipinas are not really as fortunate as the others have become. So please this is rubbish.
This is precisely the stereotype Filipina Images is fighting. Any normal man married to a Filipina would not want his wife to be seen as a gold digger, mail order brides, porno star or prostitute. Any normal father of a Filipina or Filipina-American would not want his daughter subjected to the same stereotypes. Would he?
I hope not! The guys that I know, and trust, who are married to Filipinas love and respect them and to see Filipinas trashed like this is beyond their comprehension.Any rational man would feel the same. Without question!
Why does this show of solidarity scare Geoff?
I have yet to see a Filipina dating site that doesn’t depict Filipinas as:
- Docile
- Simple
- Faithful
- Loving
- Sexy
- Sensual
- And submissive
They don’t tell the whole story. Why is that? I’ll tell you why… it would scare many of their prospective clients away. That’s why!
Why don’t these sites add these 3 personality traits to the mix?
1.Strong
2.Intelligent
3.Ambitious
Why not? Because these sites pander to the lowest common denominator. And that man is not looking for a strong, intelligent, ambitious woman.
Luckily for some Filipinas they’ve found the proverbial needle in the haystack in some of these sites. A good man and good husband. But no one ever writes about the loving, long term, relationships in the Fil-Am community. Because happy and wholesome doesn’t sell.
Anyone who owns a website about the Philippines, or mentions Filipinas can clearly see the keywords that bring folks to that site. These keywords are indicative of what many men, world wide, think of Filipinas. And it’s disgusting.
So please tell me how does a Filipina dating site enhance the Filipina Image? How can Filipina dating sites change the perception of gold diggers, Mail Order Brides…and worse?!
Filipina Images, Lorna, Noemi and Dine didn’t declare war on anything other than the maligned image of Filipinas. They didn’t go out on a feminist attack. They simply encouraged folks to block the dating sites from their Google Adsense accounts as a show of support.
This is grassroots support at it’s best. It’s passive, non-threatening and powerful. So what’s the problem?
From the way I read the article it’s a totally voluntary action on the Bloggers part. They can if they want to but they don’t have to. It’s up to them!
If anyone can make valid points as to how Filipina Dating websites improve the Filipina Image…I would love to hear from them. If you have an opinion either way feel free to let us know how you feel.
Other readers of this article have also enjoyed these articles:
- How to Filter Filipina Dating Site Ads
- Filipina Images: Dating A Filipina Website
- How Dating Websites Commodify the Filipina: A Pseudo-Case Study
- Reshaping the Sexy Filipina Image
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9 Responses to “Filipina Dating Sites - Do They Create a Healthy Filipina Image?”
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Overall I agree with this. Of course I do not have extensive data to back up my beliefs, so they are just my beliefs and observations. Yes, the filipina has a choice to join or not, but they do not have a choice as to how the website is “marketed”. I am also happy for any person who does find a loving mate through these websites. But many times the owner is making a profit through unsuspecting filipinas joining and thinking they will find a suitable mate. My nieces have gone this route, and you would be shocked to see what lowlifes are out there, and what they write to the filipinas. No one signs up to receive that kind of treatment. There is no screening and probably no “policing” of activities that occur.
Sadly, I don’t have a solution, but there are filipinas who do desire a foreigner as a friend or something greater. Many do not have any other option than to join a dating site.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am not really sure who wrote this article, because it is unsigned.
I did a quick search of the database that powers the dating site that I publish, for the words you mentioned, I searched the field called ‘about’ which is a field that stored the personal description, written by the members themselves.
The results:
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%docile%’
– docile is used 0 times by members in their profile.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%simple%’
– 519 times the member chose to use the word simple in their personal description.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%faithful%’
– We have 85 members who consider themselves to be faithful.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%loving%’
– 398 members used the word loving as an attribute in their personal description.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%sexy%’ — we have 67 members who consider themselves to be sexy
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%sensual%’
– 9 members profess to being sensual by nature.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%submissive%’
– only 3 members suggest being submissive.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%strong%’
– 29 consider themselves to be strong.
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%intelligent%’
– 15 used the word intelligent in their personal descript
select Count(id) from tblProfile where about like ‘%ambitious%’
– 4 chose to include ambitious as character trait in their descript.
I was under the impression that you guys considered that it was ok to be a sexy filipina, so I suppose that being a sensual filipina is also ok. So why do you object to Filipina using the words sexy or sexual to describe themselves?
Also in your list, faithful and loving; I fail to see how laying claim to being faithful and loving denegrates the Filipina Image, or sexy or sensual.
Simple, hmmmm, I wish to God they would stop using the word simple in the self description, they are anything but simple. They are complex and talented, insightful and creative. Most Filipina are astutely business minded, creative and focused, managing to provide not only for their immediate needs, but often for the needs of their extended families. Many are beautiful, but despite this natural, God given physical characteristic, which they can, do and should leverage to their fullest advantage, they have an inherent work ethic, compelling them to succeed and excel in all disciplines.
I will keep this short, because the last 3 times I have given the time to make a response to blogs which support the Filipina Womens Network, my comments have been censored and deleted.
I didnt mind that the entry ‘Filtering Filipina Websites’ listed my site in it’s infamous list. I did mind that comments suggesting we the accused are ‘meat markets’ were approved for publication, but my comments were not approved for publication. I tried the appeal the censorship decision but was told. by way of a final comment in the thread:
Comments are closed. If you have problems with the Filter, respect our decision. We choose not to show dating websites in our google adsense.
You have your own dating/matchmaking site or business to run. If you have an issue with an organization outside FilipinaImages.com, then tackle it with them. Better yet, write about it in your own website instead of placing comments in here. We won’t waste our time defending our campaign as we have better things to do.
So am I wasting my time here? Are you above reproach, beyond public scrutiny and a censor of opinion also, or not?
Alan
Alan,
Your comments are always welcome here.
And let me make something perfectly clear…I don’t run a matchmaking / dating site as you mentioned in your comments. I run this blog and happy with that little piece of the pie.
If you don’t mind the listing of your site on Filipina Images blog post then who was it that was so offended?
Alan I there’s no problem with a site mentioning faithful, loving and sexy but you must admit many of these sites write that in such a way that it draws more creeps than anything else.
This is my opinion based on the many stories I have personally heard from Filipinas and the attitudes I’ve personally witness from “Joe’s” coming from these dating sites. And the Kano I’ve met personally.
I assume you’ve got some experience in the Philippine enough to see the riff raff that runs around there?
Once again I welcome you’re right to speak as long as u welcome mine…
Thanks for visiting the Fil-Am Forum Report and commenting…I hope to see you soon.
Hi! Nicely put article.
True, the filtering out of the listed sites at FilipinaImages is entirely voluntary. Me I chose to filter out most of the listed sites, and other other sites as well. That is just one way of supporting the campaign, and that is a prerogative I chose.
Deb,
Thank you for your comments and for reading the Fil-Am Forum Report.
As you can see I dont use adsense in my blog. I dont use any advertising. Not that i’m opposed to it. I will say that if and when I do start advertising it won’t be from these sites.
I made that decision a long time ago as I was starting this blog.
I have a friend that allows adsense to put filipina dating sites on his site and he readily admits they pay good money for his traffic. That’s his business and I don’t fault him for that.
My choice is not to do so when the time comes.
Thanks
This is a subject that has been on my mind for awhile. I am married to a woman from the Philippines but to me she is Waray not Filipina. A culture within a culture and from that micro of the macro I have learned not to make the mistake of stereotypeing one as all.
Stereotypeing and culture is a very in depth subject with many angles. As you know most consumers are not critical thinkers. So from a marketing point of view one brush and color paints the picture for simplicity and profits.
So my question is how does one create a site that is culturally neutral without the stereotypes?
In my country I personally have many friends and experience within the First Nations community. To me what I see in the Phils and here in Canada within the First Nations cultures there is a very strong correlation.
The stereotypes of native women here and women from the Philippines also run a strong correlation. The cases of sexual exploitation, and violence against women also are very comparitive.
This is an international issue that I take personally for the simple reason that my wife is Waray. The stereotypes are so entrenched within North American Society that I have to Agree that an antithesis needs to be created for a new thesis to rise in the Image of the diverse women from the Philippines.
Both my wife and I have experienced the racial Stereotypeing both here and abroad. I remember my wife telling me people in her community calling her a mailorder bride as well. She told me how this hurt her emotionally within her own country and community.
Daily I have to educate individuals at work about what an international relationship is all about. I am forever defending the image of my wife from the uneducated. I believe that is the key education through conciousness raising.
These blogs are a good start but I want to add that alot of the feminist sites (and i am not antifeminist) help keep these stereotypes alive. They look down upon the women that are in the Filwest relationship. These articles usually portray the problems in a child/ parent sort of way thus further stigmatizing the problem.
Again the correlation of white women know what is best for non whites or the colonizer knows what is best for the Native. Another way that disempowers the image of the woman.
I am very happy that filipina images has taken the opportunity to speak with their own voice and take the action of taking back their power and image online. You have a supporter in me and will do my best to continue the education offline
But the question we should be discussing is how do we erase this nagative stereotype of our women?
@ John
That’s simple…
Stop holding them up as something to be shopped and or purchased.