Is love a Choice or a Decision
Posted on October 1, 2006
Filed Under Long Distance Relationships |
It seems the question on The World Of Filipina’s, is Love a choice or Decision?
For this we could debate until the cow’s come home but it’s basically a rhetorical question with no real and true answer.
If love is a decision then that’s a bit scary coz if someone can decide to love they can decide with equally precision NOT TO LOVE. I’m personally not to comfortable with this. coz it’s too cold and calculating in my mind.
But for arguments sake I will address my feelings about “deciding” to love. I think that whenever we fall in love we make a subconcious decision to love that person.
We weigh the reasons we like that and how they will fit into our life or IF they will fit into our life.
We decide if they have most of the criteria that we have set for the “perfect mate” and usually IF they meet the top of the list criteria we usually pursue them or allow them to pursue us.
But this is all on a sub-concious level, yes, im sure some of it is one a concious level too. But our emotions and thought drive most of us when it comes to the Mystery of Love.
Love is an emotion more than anything else!
Anyone telling you otherwise just doesn’t understand LOVE and the emotional side of it…And I venture to say they never have been in love before and IF they have they missed out coz they didn’t know it.
How can love be a decision when it can make us so happy and so horribly sad at times?
Think about this and tell me what u think.
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2 Responses to “Is love a Choice or a Decision”
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I think its more like…falling in love is not a choice or a decision. However–staying in love is a decision. You can choose to leave the moment things get rough. You can chose to start seeing the bad in a partner and magnifying their faults. You can choose a different perspective on how you view your partner once the “love high” wears off. I think thats where the choice part comes in. That same choice also lets us decide whether to stay and work at a relationship or walk away from it. Wow…I hope that made sense…I’m typing this half asleep anyway…Nice blog btw…
Love is a decision. Yes, it’s scary but it’s reality. In my opinion, when you love, you have to decide. Because if love is an emotion, you can’t comprehend.
At first, I don’t agree that it’s a decision. It sounds very rational, and heartless. If you’ll say that it’s only emotion, it sounds brainless. But as you learn and grow knowing what is love, you’ll realize that indeed it’s a decision, and emotion will come with it. Because in love, you are not only receiving but you are giving (e.g. time, effort). In love, you are assuming responsibilities, and so and so forth. Within this context of love, you are making decision in assuming responsibilities.
In making decision, you are setting parameters to make the relationship works. If it is a feeling alone, you’ll be lost. Love as an emotion is an expression of showing your love, but to work it out it’s a decision. Further, to know your limitations how to go through the length of loving the person it’s a decision. Let’s not take decision in literal sense but let’s elaborate the deeper meaning of it.
God never design our hearts on the top of our heads. he wants as to ‘THINK’ in everything we do that we have to make decisions. Let’s take the example of Filipino culture, despite that many families are in poverty level, still, they maintain the sacredness of marriage. If the husband can’t feed their families, why the wife is still with him? Because, they decide to love regardless what’s on the table. We can’t blame it to ‘culture’.
More so, you may be stupid to stay in love with the person if he is abusing you. Right? I call it obsession not love. In the presence of hurting, there is no love. Anyways, that’s also my understanding. Everybody will realize the true meaning of love from his/her experiences. We will learn if it’s a decision or not.
The only thing that I can say ‘There is so much to learn in loving.’ It’s a big big world out there. The most important is - you use your head just like you decide if you want to eat or not. Very basic. And don’t be afraid of falling in love, it’s better to experience it than nothing at all. ‘Love as if you’ve never been hurt.’ Enjoy life. In love, there is no such ‘right person’. You are making that person right for you… Yes. As what I’ve said, because love is a decision… REgards to all. (**wink**)